Category Archives: WTF

Hooray for Funeral BS

OK the sooner this funeral business is done, the better. I talked to Denny, my stepfather. He has declared NO AUTOPSY. He doesn’t want her body cut up in that way. BUT – and here’s why this makes no sense to me – he’s going to have her body burned and the remains crushed, ground into powder. But he’s worried about surgeon’s scalpel?? :headdesk: I didn’t fight him on this – I figured the stress is way too high and I don’t need it jacking up MY glucose right now (and yes, glucose responds to stress). Just talking to him frightens me as it is. But this nonsense on top of it?? For Fuck’s Sake!

Bear in mind my dad was an apprentice undertaker. He knew, and told me, all kinds of things about death and how it is handled in the funeral industry, and he quickly came to understand, and pass on to me, that once you’re dead, you’re a hunk of cooling meat. What is really YOU is no longer there. I suppose that’s why he was, 99.999999999% of the time, completely unflappable. He’d seen the worst that life can do to someone. Anything outside of that? Small potatoes.

The sooner I am done with the Brown family, the better, I swear.

By the way, I don’t have a theological problem with cremation. My problem here is that he thinks a surgeon’s scalpel is worse than what cremation will do.

I’m having one of those “Sasha Fierce” moments right now. I will NOT let this bullshit get me down. Aw hell no.

The only questions I have about cremation is: is it green/earth friendly? Human remains are basically carbon. That’s it. Powdered carbon. I think I read somewhere that this stuff is, as far as the earth is concerned, nutritionally “inert.” It does not feed other life forms at all, the way a body in a simple pine box would. But Joe told me, over the weekend, that carbon acts as a purifier, so maybe there’s something to that.