OK the sooner this funeral business is done, the better. I talked to Denny, my stepfather. He has declared NO AUTOPSY. He doesn’t want her body cut up in that way. BUT – and here’s why this makes no sense to me – he’s going to have her body burned and the remains crushed, ground into powder. But he’s worried about surgeon’s scalpel?? :headdesk: I didn’t fight him on this – I figured the stress is way too high and I don’t need it jacking up MY glucose right now (and yes, glucose responds to stress). Just talking to him frightens me as it is. But this nonsense on top of it?? For Fuck’s Sake!
Bear in mind my dad was an apprentice undertaker. He knew, and told me, all kinds of things about death and how it is handled in the funeral industry, and he quickly came to understand, and pass on to me, that once you’re dead, you’re a hunk of cooling meat. What is really YOU is no longer there. I suppose that’s why he was, 99.999999999% of the time, completely unflappable. He’d seen the worst that life can do to someone. Anything outside of that? Small potatoes.
The sooner I am done with the Brown family, the better, I swear.
By the way, I don’t have a theological problem with cremation. My problem here is that he thinks a surgeon’s scalpel is worse than what cremation will do.
I’m having one of those “Sasha Fierce” moments right now. I will NOT let this bullshit get me down. Aw hell no.
The only questions I have about cremation is: is it green/earth friendly? Human remains are basically carbon. That’s it. Powdered carbon. I think I read somewhere that this stuff is, as far as the earth is concerned, nutritionally “inert.” It does not feed other life forms at all, the way a body in a simple pine box would. But Joe told me, over the weekend, that carbon acts as a purifier, so maybe there’s something to that.
Please note that this meme, extolling the virtues of non-civilized/non-industrialized life, was made with a PHOTOGRAPH (taken by someone using a CAMERA) and edited/assembled and then shared on a COMPUTER, which was connected to the INTERNET.
So much for the glorification of uncivilized/non-industrialized/Stone Age tech cultures.
So, here’s an update. Since my last post here, I’ve lost another 10 pounds! I’m down to 181 pounds now (and my fasting glucose today was 107). This is great. I’m still doing step aerobics (with weights) and walking (often with weights) to burn calories & glucose. On occasion I use the weight machines in the exercise room, or the treadmill. Plus I have made changes to my diet – bye bye to starches, like white bread and potatoes and rice, and I’ve also gone lower fat as well. Yay! Go me!
I tried on this skirt last night:
It is a kilted skirt made in the MacArthur tartan. The picture is an old picture; it was taken the day I got the skirt in the mail (I had been measured for it and placed an order for it several months previous, at a Renaissance Faire). By the time I got the skirt, I’d put on some weight and it was VERY tight on me.
But as of last night, it was feeling a bit looser. I think if I lose a little more weight, it’ll be no problem for me to fit easily into this skirt.
Here are more recent pictures of me:
I have to admit I feel really good with this weight loss – which, by the way, is about 38 pounds. Seeing the weight coming down is very encouraging, and my body does feel lighter. Movement is easier. I feel stronger and better able to walk for longer periods of time. This is a very good thing.
The American Diabetes Association Walk to Stop Diabetes is coming up soon. Methinks I’ll be able to handle a 5k walk. I’ve only raised $104 for it so far, but that’s something!
I weighed myself this morning – I’m down to 191 pounds/13 stone! I’ve lost 28 pounds/2 stone so far. If this keeps up I’m going to have to buy more new pants, because the ones I just bought are going to start falling off of my arse!
Today is Trinity Sunday. I think I’ll just attend the Celtic contemplative service at All Saints tonight. I’ve already missed all the morning services because I slept late. That’s ok. I really like the Celtic service anyway. It’s very pared down and simple, there’s beautiful Gregorian chant, lots of candles, and a simple homily that I think Fr. Rob delivers off the top of his head. He doesn’t read notes at the pulpit; he walks down to the front row of pews and just speaks to us all right there.
All Saints Church, Winter Park, FL
Such a lovely church. More later.
Today at All Saints Church, Winter Park, I knelt before Bishop Gregory Brewer…
…he laid his hands on my head, pronounced a blessing, anointed my forehead with oil in the form of the cross, and then he slapped my left cheek.
Thus, I was initiated.
There is a slightly perverse part of me that thinks “sorry, UUs and Methodists, but it’s your loss, really.” So it is, but that’s not being all that charitable, is it?
But there it is. I’m an Episcopalian.
Rev. Debbie came out to see this; she told me she stood up in the back when I was called to go before the bishop. Standing indicates something like unto vouching for someone. Yay! I had a priest stand for me. I really want to see more of her, as often as I can. I like Rev. Debbie a lot. I really enjoyed being part of St. Joe’s. What a pity it had to close.
I feel like a change really happened today, even more so than when I got married – which is kind of bizarre. I have no idea why this is. Maybe it’s because this confirmation ceremony was actually more elaborate than my wedding. But yes, a change has been effected. Things are very different now…
…in 1939, Dad was born.
If I could, I’d toast him with Guinness, but due to the metformin I’m on, I can’t drink.
But I can do other things to remember him, including continue to push for universal health care, something he wanted to see in this country in his lifetime if possible, but definitely in my lifetime, because by the time he got to his 60s, he figured his diabetes had advanced too far for medicine to really “save” or “cure” him (given medical technology & knowledge of the time), but it might not be too late for me and kids in my generation.
And if I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a million times: best dad a girl could ask for.
I’m so glad we did have all the time together that we did have. And he’s why I’ve waged an all-out war on my own diabetes. I have tools at my disposal that he didn’t have. I think that while he would be quite saddened to know that his Peanut is diabetic, he’d be very proud to see how I’m controlling it so well so far. And developing healthier habits of eating and exercise.
Love & miss you, Dad.
You’re the man.
Anne Rice posted this on her FB page:
I’ve seen it again and again. Many Christians do not take responsibility for their religion as a whole. They are too quick to dismiss any unpopular Christian as “not a true Christian.” Protestants don’t think Catholics are true Christians. Some Catholics don’t think Protestants are. By the time you list all the Christians who aren’t true Christians, who is left? —- That’s not enough. I feel Christians should take real honest responsibility for their belief system and what has been done and what is being done in its name. Can you join the Ku Klux Klan and claim your little branch are “good guys” and wouldn’t hurt a fly? Why should you be able to join Christianity and refuse responsibility for all that is done worldwide in its name?
OK and in response, I think I’ll let Father Robert Barron take care of this one:
I just don’t even know where to begin.