Dear Religion/Dear Science

Dear Science,

It is true that some people have used me as an excuse or justification for their own evil ends. But your hands aren’t exactly “clean” either.

First of all, it was you who was involved in the development and manufacture of the gun used to shoot Malala. In fact, you are behind the development of advanced, sophisticated weaponry in general, such as the space-based weapons that the US and USSR were once threatening each other with, and which led to treaties between the two nations that basically said “we won’t heft several BFRs* up to orbital height and drop them on our enemies.”

Second, in a conversation with History the other day, he reminded me that it was you who was behind this little thing called “the Manhattan Project.” I think you’ll remember one gentleman in particular, Robert Oppenheimer? Perhaps “atomic bomb” means something to you? How about Hiroshima and Nagasaki? History also has not forgotten that you cost Marie Curie her life.

History can recall an awful lot of harm that you yourself have caused, Science my friend, but right now I haven’t the time to go into it all. But it’s out there. History has not forgotten.

Third, in all your so-called “knowledge,” Science, you seem to have conveniently FORGOTTEN that it’s MY job to forgive you for the harm that you have brought to many people throughout time. You also seem to have not learned my lesson about arrogance and hypocrisy and throwing stones in glass houses.


*BFRs = Big Fucking Rocks


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